Tag Archives: job loss

A good job is hard to find…

12 Mar

More amusing copy from the job boards!

Editor – Part TIme (Westchester)
Source: craigslist.com
Company: abdonline.com
Best line? Come back to work, the country needs you.
Gotta love the editorial job descrips that have typos!

Cat Feeding And Socializing Twice A Day
Source: Indeed.com
Company: Definitely private
Best line? How about the whole post: I have a wonderful hairless cat named Mowgli who needs twice daily feeding and love. Please let me know if you are interested.
This one’s for LK. >^,,^<

Chief-Editor for Adult Publication (Midtown)
Source: craigslist.com
Company: Unmentioned
Best line? You will be the captain of this vessel (the publisher is mostly hands-off).

The Dealmakers Magazine Editor
Source: Ed2010.com
Company: The Dealmakers
Best line? One of the best decisions of your life is to apply for this position.
Okay so they have an office cat — I’d do it if it weren’t in Princeton, NJ.

Receptionist
Source: Mediabistro.com
Company: shootdigital
Best line? We are very interested in being your employer.
Really? Because I am very interested in being employed.

You’ve got questions?

29 Nov

Me too. Here’s a handful.

1. What’s one wine too many?
2. Is there a worse movie than Son of the Mask?
3. Can adding music to my mp3 player motivate me enough to get off the couch?
4. Will I be able to eat chili unregretfully if it is disguised as nachos?
5. Why is sour cream so good?
6. Where does Dave Salmoni live when he’s not hanging with the pride?
7. Can I plan a vacation a week after returning from one?
8. Is there a place relatively close to the United States that will allow me to hold a wild cat?
9. Who’s my favorite Ranger?
10. Why do Mondays still feel like Mondays?

They’re someone’s dream job… just not mine

27 Oct

Amusing job opportunities I’ve seen along my journey…  Someone has to do it (literally, scroll down!)

Help Wanted: Newborn Photographer/Part-Time Sales Rep
via Our365
Note: Photography experience preferred, but not required. Great.

Help Wanted: Poster for Twitter, Forums, Myspace
via Odesk
Must have: Experience promoting sites in social networks, blogs, media sites. Okay then…

Help Wanted: Handprint Envelopes
via Craigslist
Summary: Person with good handwriting wanted to address envelopes

Help Wanted: Writer with Knowledge of Flowers
via Odesk
Summary: Just looking for an honest, quality writer interested in flowers – it’s that simple!

Help Wanted: Charmin Ambassadors
Description: Do you enjoy going to the bathroom enough to earn $10,000? The Charmin Ambassadors will greet, entertain, and blog about their experience.​ All candidates must really, really enjoy going to the bathroom.
via Monster.com

Help Wanted: Busy Dog Daycare Seeks P/T Dog Wranglers (Red Hook)
via Craigslist
Summary: If you truly enjoy hanging out with fun-loving dogs and can provide 3 references…

Help Wanted: Naming Specialist
via Mediabistro.com
Summary: Landor Associates, the worlds leading branding and design consultancy is seeking a Naming (Verbal Identity) Specialist. Call it like you see it.

Help Wanted: Police Beat
via JournalismJobs.com
Summary: A HOT BEAT in a hot climate.
Refer to Sun Coast Media Group, Inc.
Cops was always hot.

Holy water for computers, comedy, and the big decision

26 Oct

I couldn’t help it. My sleepless Sunday was the cause and effect of possibly 2 1/2 hours of True Blood last night, via an anon. website which could very well have screwed up my computer. At the time (12 to 3 AM?), the consequences seemed minor. I just feel like a creepster now for stealing like I did, but that just goes to show you how gold my heart is.  So far I’ve yet to incur any damages from my movie marathon besides exhaustion — Johnathan snuck into my room this morning to clarify for me that it was light outside and I didn’t belong in my bed. Ah, if only he knew I was thinking the exact same thing. I love when we are on the same page.

In other news:

  • I forgot to mention that over the weekend I was lucky to get to see Fran Capo perform comedy in Mohegan Lake, NY. Such a good time.
  • I am just a week away from an important decision… it makes me mad that I cannot decide whether I like my hair light or dark. I am at a color crossroad.
  • It has been a month and a day since I last worked. The fact that I am able to calculate that without my google calendar makes me think there are repercussions to job loss yet to anticipate. Mondays are the hardest. Check out my former life.